I'm too Sexy... by Rodrigo, Laptop Extraordinaire

I'm not kidding. I'm the cat's meow of laptops. It's no accident Kate describes me as "so hot, so sexy."

Well, that's how she used to describe. Lately, she barely looks at me. I thought it was because I was getting a little out of shape, so while she was out of town I spent a week at the fat farm (otherwise known as Dell's Servicing Facility) getting spiffied up for her return.

It worked. I came back all sleek and refreshed, and she fawned over me—for about a week. Then she turned to Tucker, that frickin' upstart PDA. So what if he has a foldable keyboard? I'm packing, baby, and you can't tell me size doesn't matter.

When Tucker first came onto the scene nine months ago, I wasn't worried. Kate's like that—she needs variety. So she has her little flirtations, but she knows who loves her. And at first, yeah, that's how it was. She'd "work" with Tucker—a late night here, an early morning rendezvous there—but she always came back to me.

And she even set him aside for awhile. He wasn't easy to work with, she said. Small computer complex, I think. Whatever. All I care about it that for months she stayed away from him. I was happy.

Only then she went away and I just found out she took him with her. There I was, flogging myself to get in shape for her, and she was spending every day with a computer named Tucker. How sissy boy can you get?

And now she ignored me all weekend. Yeah, kind of concerned here. It's enough to make me doubt my virility. But, damn it, I am sexy.

Am I losing her? I miss the soft caress of her fingertips. Should I start flirting with other people? Maybe that'd get her attention. Except the only other person I can think of is Nate, and he's really not my type.